Basil & Spice

Sex, Society, And The Internet

Sat, 19 Jul 2008 17:56:20 GMT

Jaci Rae is known as The Fabulously Frugal Diva and The Queen of More Green. She is the author of several books including this week's Bestseller at Amazon 5 Meals For $5. Other books she's written: Shop For a Day With Jaci Rae, How To Get Almost Anything For Free, and Winning Points With The Woman in Your Life One Touchdown at a Time. Jaci Rae, who was raised in poverty and knows the value of a dollar, can show you that it doesn't have to be a struggle. Recently Jaci Rae went on a shopping spree and filled an entire truck, inside and out for under $400. Jaci is currently working on a Ph.D.

Jaci Rae--

Sex, society and the Internet. These three explosive topics have elicited a lot of conversation and controversy. Society has always had a fascination with sex. However, over the centuries the fascination has gone from closed doors to open format.

What changed society?s willingness to discuss and view sex in an open forum? The term Sexual Revolution was first noted in 1929, when Thurber and White used the expression in their book, Is Sex Necessary? However, some historians believe the sexual revolution actually began in the 1960s. Prior to the 1960s, society, as a whole, had a very puritanical view of sex and sex was not openly discussed.

Skip a few decades to the explosion of the Internet and an entirely new kind of sexual revolution began. No longer was sex a veiled and taboo subject that could cause a scandal. Nor was sex hidden in a stack of magazines, secret drawers or a stash of DVDs on a hush-hush closet shelf. It was a wide-open arena for anyone to participate in.

The new sexual revolution focused on sexual freedom and experimentation. The Internet "superhighway" gave easy access to sexual content in a way society had never experienced before.

Chat rooms and instant messaging became the new form of "meeting" and "communicating" with other people. Mega "super stars" were sometimes unwittingly born from taped sexual escapades in "private" trysts. (Pamela Anderson, Tommy Lee, and Paris Hilton are the most notable.)

The question is has society, as a whole, become a better place now that knowledge of any kind is so easily accessible? There are pros and cons. A few of the extraordinary assets of the Internet are:

Research can be done on a much broader scale and performed with a lot more ease.
Information can be disseminated more rapidly.
The exposure to various cultures and societies is much more obtainable whether or not you can travel.
Moreover, the chance for running your own business is available to anyone.

However, the incredible downside is that our society has become:

More overweight.
More disconnected.
Face-to-face social skills are rapidly declining.
The moral gauge of society is becoming obscured.
Sexual predators have gained much easier access to their prey.

In addition, cheating on a partner is a click away and a lot easier to hide. Today, meeting someone on the Internet from anywhere in the world is easy, and many justify cyber-sex as mere flirtation and do not classify it as cheating.

Because of the free-for-all, cyber-sex and cyber-affairs have run rampant. The divorce rate at 38% only a few years ago, is climbing to over 50%. *(National Center for Health Statistic based on 46 reporting states. This measurement is based on per capita.)

In addition to a higher rate of divorce, young children, pre-teens and teenagers have been given carte blanche access to the Internet. They are being exposed to sexual predators and pornography at an alarming rate as Internet addiction is reaching epidemic proportion.

The backlash from the massive exposure of the Internet Sexual Revolution, coupled with the social abandonment, has come at a great cost to humanity and the relationships we value.

While the Internet does offer a vast world of possibilities and exciting exploration of the world around us, without limitations it has become an addictive hazard that people, for the most part, unintentionally use to destroy their families and relationships. Moreover, overuse is known to cause problems physically, financially and emotionally.

The Internet is a great tool to utilize. But it's just that, a tool. However, for too many people their Internet connection has become their friend, lover and world. The utopian culture Internet addicts create for themselves is becoming a large-scale dilemma.

What is the solution to the worldwide problem? The only answer is for society to begin reconnecting to the real world and curb their enthusiasm for their computers and the technology that runs them. The Internet is not the adversary; it's the uncontrolled use of the Internet that causes problems in all areas of an addict's life.

*It should be noted that the higher rate of divorce was not blamed on the use of the Internet. Some studies cited the ease of which divorce is now available as one of the contributing factors in the rise of divorce.

When Pornography Is The Problem

A Deeper Understanding of NO-SEX Marriages

Robin Roberts Moves On

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 21:07:10 GMT

by Kelly Jad'on

A FirstLook Feature

Book Review: From the Heart: Eight Rules to Live By (Hyperion, 2008) by Robin Roberts

Robin Roberts is a co-anchor of ABC?s Good Morning America. Prior to this, she was an anchor of ESPN?s Sports Center for more than 15 years. Robin believes that rules have purpose because they teach us invaluable lessons like discipline and responsibility.

Robin Roberts paperback memoir includes a new chapter this time around in which she?s added a new rule to live by. Following up on her original seven rules:

Position yourself to take the shot.
Dream big, but focus small. ?Dreams are vague and far away. Goals are tangible and achievable.?
If at first you don?t succeed dive back in. ?It isn?t always the smartest, most talented, prettiest, or most charismatic person who has the most success.? Don?t let rejection hold you back from your achievements.
Never play the race, gender, or any other card.
Venture outside your comfort zone. ?To stop growing is to stop living.?
Focus on the solution, not the problem.
Keep faith, family, and friends close to your heart. ?My faith, family, and friends are the foundation upon which everything else rests.?

As Robin?s newest rule to live by, she states her mother?s old saying: ?Make your mess your message.?

This last chapter of From the Heart is a memoir of Robin?s journey through cancer. While crying she wrote, ?I was asked to write an entire book about my experience with cancer. I respectfully declined. Cancer is no more than a chapter in my life. And it will not be the last chapter.?

Shortly after Joel Siegel?s death from colon cancer, Robin Roberts discovered her own tumor as a lump in her breast (2007). Fearing the worst, she almost ?chickened out? of telling her doctor?but instead took the shot. Focusing on the small things which helped her attain her dream of being cancer-free, Robin had a biopsy, partial mastectomy, chemo, and later radiation. When she felt depressed, Robin kept on fighting. She says she never used the ?excuse? of having cancer to keep her from achieving her goals.

Robin speaks of her wonderful doctors, supportive friends like Diane Sawyer, and opportunities, such as traveling to the Middle East on a breast cancer awareness initiative with First Lady Laura Bush. Talking about her disease publicly on Good Morning America, was how she raised her own awareness campaign of turning her mess into her message.

Robin Roberts has no familial history of breast cancer, as many of us do not. But she was successfully diagnosed early, treated, and has recovered?most of this in the public?s view. We can see that Robin is a survivor. True to her own life rules, Robin puts a happy face on her cover, commits to eradicating cancer from her body, and moves on?an example to us all.

5 Stars

Book Review: Taking Care of Your "Girls"

Are Breast Self Examinations Unnecessary?

What's In Your Cup of Coffee?

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 12:23:38 GMT

Sadie Kneidel is part of a daughter-mother writing team in North Carolina. She is a teacher and community activist as well as the co-author of two books. Living in a collective household, she concentrates her efforts on community gardening, biking and neighborhood organizing. Two books from Fulcrum co-authored by Sadie are Going Green: A Wise Consumer's Guide to a Shrinking Planet (May, 2008) and Veggie Revolution: Smart Choices for a Healthy Body and a Healthy Planet (Nov, 2005).

Sadie Kneidel--

Going into the teachers? lounge today made me depressed.

On this blustery fall morning, the toasty smell of brewing coffee and the burbling sound of the percolator should have been welcoming. But all I could do was stare at the coffee pot and think, ?Why??

Because I?ve drunk that coffee before. And I know it tastes like burning plastic. It?s from some cheap canister of bitter Robusta coffee beans grown for maximum quantity and low price. Or so I?ve always thought.

After all, why would we subject ourselves to this weak, acrid swill if not to save money? Adding the non-dairy creamer and cheap sweetener on hand does nothing to lessen the toxic taste. Rather, then it tastes like burning plastic plus chemicals.

Coffee Beans Growing

Mmm, delicious.

As I gathered my lesson plans and prepared for the day ahead, I imagined a different scene. What if I walked in the lounge to the rich brown smell of Arabica coffee? What if there was actual milk in the fridge? Call me crazy, but what if we had actual sugar?

Why do we do this? I asked myself again. Is it simply the status quo, because this is what all offices serve? Is it because these products are what?s available at the office supply store? Is it because it?s the cheapest option? That must be it, but the financial gain seems like cutting off our nose to spite our face. We?re saving a few cents, I presume, but forcing ourselves to drink a nasty, unhealthy mix of synthetic ingredients and cheap, low-quality coffee. Is it really worth it?

I wondered how much the typical office saved by cutting these corners. A little investigation proved that the average cup of office coffee costs between 30 and 40 cents. Twenty-nine cents for a scoop of your average Robusta beans; 4 cents for a scoop of non-dairy creamer (main ingredient: corn syrup solids); 5 cents for refined white sugar or 9 cents for Splenda if you prefer. (Main ingredient: who knows.)

Next I researched the alternative. Grounds for Change offers their organic, fair trade, shade grown Arabica beans in five-pound bags for $42, which comes out to about 18 cents a cup. I was shocked. Eighteen cents, for a delicious-sounding ?bright, nutty flavor and subtle sweetness that is enhanced by a delicate medium roast, ? produced by an environmentally sustainable all-women cooperative in Mexico. For almost half the price of Folgers? I couldn?t believe it.

As for the add-ins, a gallon of whole milk from Homeland Creamery, our local dairy, sells for about $4.50, or 2 cents per splash. Realistically, I know an office might not go through a gallon of milk before it goes bad. (Thus the corn syrup solids?) But if we must go non-dairy, how about a small carton of soy creamer? A 16-ounce carton of Silk Creamer retails for $1.99, or 6 cents per coffee. As for sugar, raw turbinado sugar from BulkFoods.com comes out to 5 cents a cup. Same as the refined white sugar for sale at Office Max, and plus lots of vitamins and minerals. And minus some bleaching.

Well I?ll be darned. That comes to 18 cents for a cup of black eco-groovy coffee, 25 cents with the works. That?s a half to two-thirds the price of the rain-forest slashing, farmer-robbing, stomach-irritating slop we?re all subjecting ourselves to.

So why are we doing it?

More From Green Blogger Sadie Kneidel--

The Car Addiction

United States Helps China Harness Methane Gas

Woman Loses 160lbs on Raw Foods

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 11:53:45 GMT

Jonny Bowden, PhD, C.N.S. is a nationally known expert on weight loss and nutrition and natural healing. A popular and dynamic speaker who combines wit and humor with science, he?s appeared as a health and nutrition expert on MSNBC, CNN, FOX News, ABC, CBS and NBC and he has contributed material to over 50 national magazines and newspapers. Dr. Bowden is on the Editorial Advisory Board of Men?s Health, is an associate editor of Total Health Magazine and is a columnist for both Better Nutrition and Remedy Magazines. His advice on nutrition, weight loss, diet and supplements has been read by millions on iVillage.com and on America Online..

He is the author of The Most Effective Natural Cures on Earth: What Treatments Work and Why, the Amazon best-seller The 150 Healthiest Foods on Earth, and his latest, The Healthiest Meals on Earth, books that have been endorsed and acclaimed by such luminaries as Mehmet Oz, MD, Christiane Northrup, MD and Mark Victor Hansen and a virtual who?s who in the field of integrative medicine and nutrition. For more information about products, services and coaching as well as a free newsletter and audiocourses, please visit him at www.jonnybowden.com

Jonny Bowden--

Angela Stokes is a British woman who, about six years ago, tipped the scale at 300 pounds. Today, she weighs a stunning 138 and exudes a kind of inner peace that only comes from a profound inner transformation.

She lost the weight on a raw food vegan diet.

"So what do you have to say to that, Mr. Low Carb?" I've been asked (smugly) by more than a few people.

Actually, a few things. Starting with "Congratulations."

Here's the thing: The Standard American Diet (or in Angela's case, the Standard English Diet) is horrendous. One of the reasons that people lose weight- and frequently regain their health- on such a wide variety of eating plans is that nearly any "diet" or conscious eating strategy is a vast improvement over what they were doing.

Or, in other words, "Anything is better than McDonald's!"

In Angela Stokes own words, "I ate junk food all the time. I was very closed down emotionally. I had no interest in dieting; I just wanted to eat all the time... that was my comfort in life".

Now it happens that Ms. Stokes accomplished what she accomplished using raw foods. Her diet was heavy on nuts, seeds, vegetables, fruits and fresh juices. I can't see a thing to object to in that. Remember, I'm not really "Mr. Low Carb" I'm "Mr. No Junk." There's nothing incompatible about eating fresh whole foods and eating controlled carbohydrates.

Eating as she did, Ms. Stokes automatically cut out a good portion of the foods and ingredients that cause the scale to rise just as they cause your health to deteriorate: sugar, processed grains, trans-fats... need I go on?

Now we can quibble over details. Does this make Raw Foods "better" than Low- Carb or better than Weight Watchers or Low-Fat?

I think that's the wrong question.

It's just as easy to find people who've transformed their life and lost even more than 138 pounds on a classic Atkins-like low-carb regimen (just ask Jimmy Moore). And it's possible to even find people who've done it on low-fat (just ask Dean Ornish).

The point is not to ask "is my diet better than yours"?

The point is that different regimens work for different people.

Personally, I have a few issues with a 100 percent raw food diet. I think- unless you're getting at least 2 tablespoons a day of flaxseed oil- you won't be getting optimal amounts of the valuable EPA and DHA omega-3's found naturally in fish. You will definitely not be getting enough vitamin B12, deficiencies of which don't make themselves known for many months if not years. And an exclusively raw food diet is very hard to follow, and is too low in protein for many- though not all- people.

But that shouldn't blind us to the very valid point that when you change your diet from- excuse the expression- crap to good food, you're going to see benefits. I should point out that it's almost impossible to over eat calories on a raw food diet and that alone is a major benefit.

The take home point from Ms. Stokes experience is that whole foods are beneficial and any change from a junk food diet is going to produce terrific results.

The take home point should not- repeat not- be that raw foods is the only way to go.

I've often maintained that some percentage of the diet should be raw. How much? Don't know. Maybe for some people, 20%. Maybe for others, 50%. Maybe for a few, 100%. And most likely, for most, it will shift from day to day (or season to season).

As a postscript it's worth noting that Angela Stokes didn't change her whole life just by losing weight. She now counsels others about healthy eating, has joined support groups, has an active network of social connections, and has obviously done a lot of work on her emotional life.

That's a prescription for health and success.

Congratulations, Angela!

Diet War Studies

Omega-3 Reduces the Risk of Alzheimer's

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 11:45:34 GMT

Jonny Bowden--

I've been praising omega-3's in these pages (and in articles and books) for as long as I've been writing about diet, nutrition and health. So I love when new studies come out supporting what we in the nutrition community have known for a long time- omega-3's protect your brain!

In one study done just last year, and published in the journal Neurology, the health and dietary patterns of over 8, 000 French men and women 65 years old (or older) were monitored for a minimum of four years. The study found that daily consumption of fruits and vegetables was associated with a decreased risk of dementia from any cause. The study also found that weekly fish consumption also reduced the risk for dementia from all causes, including the most famous type of dementia of all- Alzheimer's disease.

The relationship between eating fish on a weekly basis and lowering the risk for Alzheimer's was found in individuals lacking genes for apolipoprotein-E4 (also known as apoE4). This genotype is a separate and independent risk factor for Alzheimer's.

An interesting thing about this particular study was the side finding that too much intake of omega-6's- unbalanced by consumption of omega-3's- actually increased the risk of dementia, and this was true even when people did not have the genetic risk factor.

We've been saying for what seems like forever that the balance between omega-6's and omega-3's is a critical variable in human health. Our Paleolithic ancestors and hunter-gatherer societies typically consumed omega 6: omega 3 in a ratio somewhere between 1:1 and 4:1, and that range is believed to be the optimal intake. Modern industrial societies like ours consume anywhere between 20:1 and 60:1 omega 6- omega 3!!

Why is this so bad?

Because omega-6's are the building blocks of inflammatory compounds (eicosanoids) in the body. It's not that those inflammatory compounds are all bad- we need them for various biochemical responses to injury, for example. But when our body is making way too many of them and not enough of the balancing anti-inflammatories, we're in big trouble. After all, we do plenty to our bodies- even inadvertently- to cause low level injury and inflammation. We don't need an "inflammatory factory" working overtime while its anti-inflammatory counterparts are asleep at the metabolic wheel.

You can't swing on a rope without consuming omega-6's- they're in everything. All vegetable oils are high in omega-6. To make matters worse, most of the omega-6's we consume are really crummy, highly processed vegetable oils like corn oil and soybean oil (rather than things like evening primrose oil).

Which brings us full circle to the issue of inflammation.

I'm pretty sure that one of the reasons that fruit and vegetable eating adults had less risk for dementia in that French study was because of the enormous amount of natural anti-inflammatories in the plant kingdom. Inflammation is a silent killer, and is a major factor in every degenerative disease from heart disease to diabetes to obesity.

A diet high in natural anti-inflammatories- supplemented with omega-3's- is one of the best things you can do to fight this silent killer.

Cold water fish, fish oil and flaxseed oil are all good sources of omega-3's.

More From Jonny Bowden--

Fish Oil Could Save 70, 000 Lives Each Year
Oxidized Cholesterol Leads To Damage

10 Keys To Marital Peace

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 11:37:07 GMT

Dr. Mark Goulston is a former UCLA professor who helps high performing leaders, senior management and sales people reach their full potential using skills he learned training FBI and police hostage negotiators. He is a member of the National Association of Corporate Directors and the Worldwide Association of Business Coaches and writes the weekly Tribune syndica ted career advice column, "Solve Anything with Dr. Mark" and columns on leadership for FAST COMPANY and Directors Monthly and is an expert at People Jam. He is frequently called upon to share his expertise with regard to contemporary business, national and world news by television, radio and print media including: Wall Street Journal, Harvard Business Review, Fortune, Newsweek, Time, Los Angeles Times, ABC/NBC/CBS/Fox/CNN/BBC News, Oprah, and Today. Mark Goulston is the author of The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship, Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior, Get Out of Your Own Way at Work and PTSD for Dummies. For more information visit: www.markgoulston.com.

Mark Goulston--

We all go through tough times in our marriages. Yet it?s how you get through these bumps that can make or break your relationship. Here are 10 ways to make it through and come out divorce-free .

1. Hate it, not them.
When you?re ticked off at your partner and becoming more angry by the minute, break eye contact and mutter strongly to the floor, ?I hate this!? By deflecting your anger down and away from your spouse, you are preventing him or her from being the direct target. You are able to have your angry feeling, to express it, to prevent provoking your spouse and to possibly have him or her align with you in expressing frustration in a non-confrontational way.

2. Ask yourself, ?What?s it like for my spouse right now??
Do this and you will make the amazing discovery that you can?t be sincerely curious about what your partner is feeling and be angry at him or her at the same moment. If you don?t care how your spouse feels, you?re really choosing to stay angry rather than make things better.

3. Start talking from hate, but don?t stop talking until it?s from hurt.
Underneath hate and anger is always disappointment, hurt and fear. If you start talking from your anger ? and then keep talking ? you?ll be able to get through to what?s really going on. For example, ?I?m so furious at you right now for doing or saying ? I can hardly keep from exploding, ? followed by a pause and deep breath can turn into, ?I?m not furious, I?m just so frustrated, because I thought we?ve been over this many times before.? After another pause and deep breath the statement becomes, ?I?m not frustrated; I just feel hurt because I think you know how sensitive I am about these things, ? followed by another pause and breath to transform into, ?I?m not hurt; I?m afraid ? afraid that I?ll always need to keep my guard up with you, and the thought of it never being different makes me feel discouraged.?

4. An ounce of initiation is worth a pound of aggravation.
Initially it seems safer to let your partner go first (and mess things up) while you get to sit back and react. However, few things help a relationship more than taking the initiative on things that you know will please your partner. And when you do so, you get to feel gracious and generous, which can give you more than you?re giving to your spouse.

5. Deliver the ?power thank you? as often as possible.
Few things make a person feel worse in a relationship than feeling used or taken for granted. And few things make a partner feel better than receiving a heartfelt, sincere ?power thank you.? This has three parts: first, thank your partner for something specific that he or she did for you; second, acknowledge the effort it took for him or her to do it; third, tell your spouse what it personally meant to you.

6. Love means always having to show you?re sorry.
When you?ve hurt, disappointed or injured your partner, deliver a ?power apology? as soon as a little time has passed, which will allow him or her to get past the acute upset. The ?power apology, ? too, has three parts:

Remorse. Look into your spouse?s eyes, see the hurt and harm you caused and without excuses say to him or her, ?I did ?; it hurt/scared/angered you because ?. I was wrong and I?m sorry.?
Restitution. You took something away, and now you?re going to give something back. Come up with something that your partner knows is as difficult and painful for you to do as your hurtful action was to him or her. Or, have your spouse select your means of payback.
Rehabilitation. Come up with a different, more constructive way to deal with the precipitating stresses that caused you to hurt your partner in the first place.

7. Ask, don?t presume.
Rather than assuming you know what the other person is thinking and feeling (when you don?t), just ask him or her.

8. Talk ?with? or talk ?to?; don?t talk ?at? or ?over.?
Even if what you say is friendly, you will quickly make an enemy if you talk ?at? or ?over? your spouse. His or her body language will tell you in which way you?re communicating: talk ?with? and your partner?s shoulders will relax; talk ?to? and your partner will nod; talk ?at? and your partner will hunker down or stick his or her chin out in defiance; talk ?over? and your partner will become fidgety and want to leave. If your spouse?s body language is telling you that you?re talking ?at? or ?over, ? stop and begin to talk ?to? or ?with? instead.

9. Have realistic expectations.
Unrealistic and unreasonable expectations set you up to be let down. Keep your expectations of your partner realistic and you reduce disappointment.

?Expectations are Premeditated Resentments?
Anonymous

10. Defuse self-righteousness with humility.
When all else fails, realize that self-righteousness is always destructive, and that a touch of humility will go a long way. You won?t think you?re stuck with such a ?bad catch? when you think of those qualities that make you not such a great catch yourself.

More of Mark Goulston's Usable Insight--

No Nonsense Marital Counseling

A Fear of Commitment: It Sucks The Life Out of a Relationship

COMING UP FRIDAY, OCTOBER 10TH THE BOOK REVIEW OF THE 6 SECRETS OF A LASTING RELATIONSHIP

The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 23:29:29 GMT

by Kelly Jad'on

Book Review: The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship: How to Fall in Love Again and Stay There (Perigree, 2001) by Mark Goulston, MD with Philip Goldberg

A Classic Feature

Dr. Mark Goulston is a former UCLA professor who helps high performing leaders, senior management and sales people reach their full potential using skills he learned training FBI and police hostage negotiators. He has also written Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior, Get Out of Your Own Way at Work, and PTSD for Dummies.

The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship has received praise from John Gray, Ph.D. and Harold H. Bloomfield, M.D. The book is based on more than 10, 000 hours of couples therapy and has been developed into six secrets for keeping your relationship together:

Keep the chemistry burning.
Treat your partner with respect?and earn his or her respect.
Don?t stop thinking about enjoyment.
Give one another acceptance despite your flaws.
Deserve each other?s trust.
Always keep in touch with empathy.

?The structure of an intimate relationship rests on six pillars, which are the core of each of the six secrets.?

C?chemistry (Sex; Romance; Discusses the painful secrets some individuals keep; Tells why we need to feel physically connected. Answers why chemistry waxes, then wanes?explains how to bring this important element back into the relationship.)
R?respect (This is where affairs sometimes begin. Warning signs of disrespect highlighted. Tells how to respect yourself and your partner.)
E?enjoyment (There is a need for laughter. Defines how baggage hinders enjoyment.)
A?acceptance (Teaches how to avoid criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling?leading predictors in the failure of couples. Elucidates upon what to do if you can?t quite accept your partner. Also teaches how to find acceptance.)
T?trust (Implies faith and confidence and is required for emotional intimacy. Details how to restore trust.)
E?empathy (Attempt to view the situation from your partner?s point of view. Learn how to move from debate and animosity to dialogue and understanding. Empathy heals wounds.)

Dr. Goulston writes that breakdowns in a relationship occur when an element of the pillars is shaky?they need regular reinforcement. Stress on the pillars is a result of marriage, child-rearing, financial problems, long-term bond of two single people, or even work. The author believes that you shouldn?t feel like a victim, instead take the initiative to create the ?love you deserve.?

By reading The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship, you should learn how to have:

Renewed involvement with each other
Revived enthusiasm four your relationship
A stronger sense of partnership and commitment
An atmosphere of healing
A greater capacity to solve problems effectively
Deepened intimacy and tenderness
Enhanced mutual understanding
Freedom from guilt and blame
A more durable bond
A reawakening of love

Using a no-blame, no-fault, no-nonsense approach and couples therapy stories as examples, this book is well written for couples to read and act upon together. Dr. Goulston also includes throughout blocks of Usable Insight and questionnaires as evaluation tools. The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship is a classic which should be read by all couples, especially those who are in a shaky, rocky, or separating marriage and by those who are preparing to enter one. If your relationship is in trouble, find out why. Mark Goulston?s 6 Secrets is Usable Insight into the reasons problems begin and will help you overcome existing marital difficulties and even point you to further help if necessary. And, if you?re happily married, you, like myself, can gain a better understanding of your spouse and marriage.

5 Stars

Mark Goulston's Usable Insight

What Is The Flexitarian Diet?

Wed, 08 Oct 2008 00:25:02 GMT

by Kelly Jad'on

Book Review: The Flexitarian Diet: The Mostly Vegetarian Way to Lose Weight, Be Healthier, Prevent Disease, and Add Years to Your Life (McGraw-Hill, 2008) by Dawn Jackson Blatner, RD, LDN

A licensed and registered dietitian and a national spokesperson for the American Dietetic Association, Dawn Jackson Blatner is also the hostess of a ?Healthy Eating? segment on Chicago?s Fox News in the Morning. Once referring to herself as a ?closet meat eater, she now openly calls herself a flexitarian. Dawn is mainly a vegetarian who eats a little red meat on occasion?a flexitarian.

Dawn Blatner writes that the word ?flexitarian? was chosen by the American Dialect Society as the Most Useful Word of the Year (2003). Also, a 2003 study published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition sampled 13, 000 people and found that 2 of 3 vegetarians eat this way.

Key Points to The Flexitarian Diet:

Eating a plant-based vegetarian diet is the smartest thing we can do for our health.
The author has taught flexitarian eating to thousands of clients and has seen them lose 20-80lbs.
Phytochemicals in plants protect us from all types of disease.
Vegetarians live 3.6 years longer on average than non-vegetarians. (They have less disease.) They also weigh approximately 15% less than non-vegetarians.
The Flexitarian Diet is a gradual shifting to a healthier way of eating. It promises a 15-30lb weight loss within 6-12 months. Benefits also include improved: energy, self-esteem, arthritis, blood pressure, cholesterol, sleep, triglyceride and glucose levels. Also associated with this type of diet is a reduced risk of: cancer, diabetes, heart disease.
Contains 100 recipes, but no photos of them. Divided into breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks, it includes ?swaps? for how to add poultry, fish, or red meat to a meal. Nutritional information is listed and the recipes are calorie-controlled, meet the American Heart Association?s certification for sodium and saturated fat levels, contain no artificial ingredients, trans fat, or sugar substitutes. Shopping lists and meal plans are supposed to benefit the reader?s weight loss.

Examples to try:

Burger with Broccoli Raab
Black Bean and Zucchini Quesadillas (with cheddar cheese)
Pad-Thai-Style Tempeh
Pinto and Cheese Poblanos

The Flexitarian Diet includes a fitness chapter covering the various aspects of how to get moving and get into shape. Advice is given regarding types of exercise, gym memberships, how to maintain motivation, type of shoe to be worn, and how to beat exercise barriers. (Excuses for not exercising)

Dawn Blatner has 10 pages of references and blocks of facts throughout highlighting important points. The meat of the book discusses vegetarian issues related to food groups, beans, tofu products, flavoring, cost control, organic vs. conventional, etc..

The Flexitarian Diet certainly catches the eye with a beautifully photographed cover which illustrates the book?s content well. The Flexitarian Diet is a healthy way for the beginning weight-loss conscious person to start. And it is also for those who wish to really make a change for long-lasting health, taking a new approach to how they shop, prepare, and enjoy their food.

As diet books change into wellness books, more emphasis is put into total body health. The reader should be able to ask such questions as, ?How will bad cholesterol be reduced? Will I be able to walk farther? Am I sleeping better?? The Flexitarian Diet hits this mark.

5 Stars

Related--

Who's The Sexiest Vegetarian Alive?

Outside the Ring With Boxer Maureen Shea

Going Vegetarian?

Kid's Pick: Brown Rice Sandwich Rolls

Wed, 08 Oct 2008 10:38:45 GMT

Tracey Seaman, a single mom of two adolescents, is the test kitchen director for Everyday with Rachel Ray magazine, and has been a food editor, stylist, and recipe developer for over two decades. Among the many publications she has contributed to or worked: Food & Wine, Gourmet, Martha Stewart Living, and Martha Stewart Kids. She lives with her family in New Jersey. Seaman is also a coauthor of Real Food for Healthy Kids, (HarperCollins, 2008).

Tracey Seaman--

Brown Rice Sandwich Rolls

The inspiration for these moist and tender rolls, which are better than anything you can buy, and great for sandwiches and toasting, came from my friend Karen Antone, a mom who is the salt of the earth. There are a lot of ingredients, but once you have measured them out and combined them, mixing and making these rolls is easy. The dough resembles thick cookie dough, which is too moist for kneading and is best portioned out with an ice-cream scoop that has a release lever. You can use all brown rice flour or a mixture of brown and white rice flours.

1 cup warm water (105?F to 115?F)

1 teaspoon sugar

One 1/4- ounce packet active dry yeast

1/2 cup GF vanilla- flavored rice milk, at room temperature

1/4 cup honey

1/4 cup olive oil, preferably extra-virgin

1 tablespoon cider vinegar

3 large eggs, at room temperature

1 cup brown rice flour

1 cup white rice flour

1/2 cup sorghum flour, buckwheat flour, or quinoa flour

(see Cooks? Notes)

1/2 cup tapioca flour

1/3 cup potato flour, plus more for forming rolls

1/3 cup ground flaxseed (optional)

1 tablespoon xanthan gum

2 teaspoons GF baking powder

1 1/2 teaspoons fine salt

1 teaspoon baking soda

1. Place the warm water in a glass measuring cup; stir in the sugar. Sprinkle the yeast on top, stir to mix, and let stand.

2. Meanwhile, combine the rice milk, honey, oil, vinegar, and eggs in a medium bowl and beat with a fork or a whisk to blend.

3. Combine the brown rice flour, white rice flour, sorghum flour, tapioca flour, potato fl our, flaxseeds, if using, xanthan gum, baking powder, salt, and baking soda in the bowl of a standing electric mixer with the paddle attachment.

Mix at low speed until the dry ingredients are well blended. Make a well in the center of the dry mixture and then pour in the yeast mixture and the eggs mixture. Mix at low speed until well blended, scraping down the bowl as necessary. Cover the bowl with a kitchen towel and let the dough rest for 20 minutes to mature the flavors.

4. Line a large baking sheet with parchment paper. Using a 1?3- cup-capacity ice- cream scoop, scoop out 12 scoops of dough, spacing the mounds evenly on the sheet. Place another half- scoop on top of each mound and, working with floured hands (using more potato fl our), lightly shape each mound into a smooth ball. Return to the parchment and shape into a patty (like an English muffin) 3?4 inch high. Cover with a towel and let rest while you preheat the oven to 350?F.

5. Bake the rolls in the center of the oven for about 20 minutes, until golden on top, golden brown underneath, and hollow sounding when you tap on top with your fi nger. Let cool for at least 15 minutes before serving.

Cooks? Notes

? Sorghum, buckwheat, and quinoa fl ours all have specific flavors they lend to the rolls. Any of them is a good choice because they add protein and fiber, but because they are intense, we only suggest a small amount; you can also substitute rice flour for any of them in this recipe. Brown rice flour is also more nutritious than white rice flour.

? The addition of tapioca and potato flours and xanthan gum adds chewy texture to the rolls and should not be substituted.

Phillip A., twelve, of Leonardo, New Jersey, loves these rolls with a hamburger or sliced turkey for lunch at school.

Prep: 20 minutes plus resting and cooling

Baking: 20 minutes

Makes 1 dozen 3- to 4- inch rolls

per roll:

273 calories, 8g fat

(1g saturated),

46g carbohydrates,

3g fiber, 5.5g protein

More From Tracey Seaman--

Autism and The Gluten-and-Dairy-Free Diet

Breast Development, Girls, and Their Fears

Wed, 08 Oct 2008 22:22:06 GMT

by Kelly Jad'on

Book Review: Taking Care of Your ?Girls?: A Breast Health Guide for Girls, Teens, and In-Betweens (Three Rivers Press, 2008) by Marisa C. Weiss, M.D. and Isabel Friedman

Marisa Weiss and Isabel Friedman call themselves a breast-doctor mom and teen daughter duo. Dr. Weiss is also the co-author of Living Beyond Breast Cancer, and 7 Minutes!: How to Get the Most from Your Doctor Visit. She is the founder of Living Beyond Breast Cancer, a member of the American Society of Clinical Oncology, has served on the National Cancer Institute Director?s Consumer Liaison Group (2000-2007), and is the founder of the nonprofit Breastcancer.org.

Taking Care of Your ?Girls? is in part based on a survey of over 3, 000 girls from both public and private schools, grades 6 through 12, and their mothers. Divided into 2 sections, the book includes illustrations, identification of breast parts, answers to tough questions (ex. Why do some boys get breasts?), and provides insight into the minds of teenagers through feedback from girls surveyed.

Taking Care of Your ?Girls? covers:

Breast development from before birth and into puberty (over the course of 10 years) addressing the effects of genes, hormones, nutrition on growth.
Self examinations: when to begin, how, what to look for. Also noted here are the several types of tests physicians conduct on breasts for evaluation (really great reading, even for adults).
Stretch marks, acne, rashes, chafing, birthmarks, yeast infections
What?s up with nipples? Hair, bumps, inverted nipples.
Normal changes?this is an important chapter regarding lumps, cysts, pain, and thick areas, and is especially important for the growing girl to read.
Bras: Did you know that this idea began in Greece 6500 years ago!? Learn how to fit them, what kind to purchase, and know the need for wearing one.
Surgical breast augmentation?explained but NOT condoned.
Fears of breast cancer are faced and addressed: only 1 in 10 breast cancer diagnoses is a result of genes, it is more common in men than in women, older women are at higher risk, testing is available for those with gene abnormalities.
Lesser risk factors are pointed out regarding smoking, lack of exercise, alcohol consumption, diet, hormone therapy, lack of breastfeeding, late pregnancy, etc..

The authors also explain how breast cancer is discovered and treated.

Did you know that about 90% of moms would like to discuss breast health with their daughters, but only 30% have done so? And did you also know that more than 20% of girls think that breast cancer could be caused by infection, tanning, drug use, stress, breast injury, or a bruise? None of these is actually a risk factor. Dr. Weiss and Ms. Friedman write, ?Few girls know how to keep their breasts healthy.?

Taking Care of Your ?Girls? is more than a book about girls, breast development, and health. It is a tool which mothers can use with their daughters, to pass on knowledge and the gift of womanhood from one generation to the next.

5 Stars

Related Book Reviews--

What Helped Get Me Through by Julie K. Silver, MD

The Mind-Beauty Connection by Amy Weschler, MD

The Migraine Brain by Carolyn Bernstein, MD and Elaine McArdle

Eating a Low-Fat Diet Doesn't Lead to Weight Loss

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 20:56:02 GMT

Dr. Mark Hyman is a sought-after medical consultant, three-time New York Times bestselling author, educator, and a leader in the emerging field of functional medicine. Functional medicine treats the underlying biological cause of disease, instead of managing or masking symptoms. It is the change people have been waiting for?the future of conventional medicine, available now. Functional medicine is more successful in treating illness and disease, and the solution to the epidemic of chronic disease. Dr. Hyman?s new book, The UltraMind Solution, will be published in January 2009 by Scribner. An award winning author, with over 1 million copies in print in the United States, he has also published several other books, including UltraMetabolism: The Simple Plan for Automatic Weight Loss.

Editor-in-chief of Alternative Therapies in Health and Medicine, the most prestigious journal in the field of integrative medicine, Dr. Hyman is the medical editor of Natural Solutions and on the editorial board of Body and Soul and Integrative Medicine: A Clinician?s Journal. Dr. Hyman collaborates with Harvard Medical School?s Center for Complementary and Integrative Medicine, and other of America?s leading medical schools.

Mark Hyman--

Is being heavy in your genes? Not so fast.

Obesity genes account for only 5 percent of all weight problems.But what about the other 95 percent of weight problems?

And why are we seeing such an epidemic of obesity in America today? It is the single most important public health issue facing us.

If genes do not account for obesity, is our high-fat diet to blame? Wrong again!

But fat contains 9 calories per gram, so shouldn?t eating more fat (and more calories) make you gain weight? Nothing could be further from the truth.

In fact, pioneering research by Harvard Medical School?s David Ludwig shows us the real reason that low-fat diets do not work -- and reveals the true cause of obesity for most Americans.

He correctly points out that careful review of all the studies on dietary fat and body fat -- such as those done by Dr. Walter Willett of the Harvard School of Public Health -- have shown that dietary fat is not a major determinant of body fat.

Let me repeat that.

==> Dietary fat is not a major determinant of body fat.

And that?s not all.

The Women?s Health Initiative, which is the largest clinical trial of diet and body weight, found that 50, 000 women on low fat diets had no significant weight loss.

Another study looked at people who followed four different diets for 12 months -- and found no dramatic differences between those who followed low-fat, low-carb, and very- low-carb diets.

You?ve got to wonder: Why aren?t we seeing any significant effects from these various diets?

The main reason, Dr. Ludwig suggests, is that we are looking for answers in the wrong place.

==> The future of treating obesity and weight is in personalizing our approach.

This is the approach I wrote about in my book UltraMetabolism. It?s called nutrigenomics. It is the science of how we can use food to influence our genes and personalize our approach to health.

Let me explain how I diagnose and treat obesity.

Over the last 15 years, I have tested almost every one of my patients using a test that most doctors never use. In fact, it is even harder to find in the research, except in this pioneering work by Dr. Ludwig.

This test is cheap, easy to do, and it is probably the most important test for determining your overall health, the causes for obesity, and your risk of diabetes, heart disease, cancer, Alzheimer?s, and premature aging.

Yet it is a test your healthcare provider probably does not perform, does not know how to interpret, and often thinks is useless.

Thankfully, Dr. Ludwig?s research brings this critical method of diagnosing the cause of obesity and disease to the forefront.

You see, in two recent studies, he found that the main factor that determines changes in body weight and waist circumference (also known as belly fat) is how your body responds to any type of sugar, carbohydrate, or glucose load.

The most important test to determine this doesn?t measure your blood sugar or cholesterol.

It tests your insulin level.

You have to check it after drinking a sugary beverage that contains 75 grams of glucose.

This test has shown me more about my patients than any other test. It helps me personalize and customize a nutritional approach for them.

And its usefulness is now being borne out in this research by Dr. Ludwig and his colleagues.

In one study, for example, Dr. Ludwig and his colleagues followed 276 people for six years.

They performed a glucose tolerance test at the beginning of the study and looked at insulin concentrations 30 minutes after the people consumed a sugary drink. This gave the researchers a rough estimate of whether they were high- or low insulin secretors.

During the course of the study, they looked at the people?s body weight and waist circumference or belly fat.

They found that those who were the highest insulin secretors had the biggest change in weight and belly fat compared to the low insulin secretors. And people who were high insulin secretors and ate low-fat diets did even worse.

This makes perfect sense -- because insulin does two things:

It stimulates hunger.
It is a fat storage hormone, which makes you store belly fat.

So, after you eat a high-carbohydrate meal, your insulin spikes and your blood sugar plummets -- making you very hungry.

That is why you crave more carbs, more sugar, and eat more the whole day.

Dr. Ludwig also found that the patients who ate a low glycemic load diet -- which lowers blood sugar and keeps insulin levels low -- had much higher levels of HDL ?good? cholesterol and much lower levels of triglycerides.

It appears that the best way to address your cholesterol is not necessarily to eat a low-fat diet, but to eat a low glycemic load diet, which keeps your blood sugar even.

I highly recommend reviewing Dr. Ludwig?s research on PubMed, the National Library of Medicine?s database, to learn more about his exciting and pioneering work.

I also encourage you to read his book, ?Ending the Food Fight.? It is the first and only roadmap for dealing with our exploding childhood obesity epidemic.

Finally, I encourage you to ask your physician to do a glucose tolerance test and measure your insulin and blood sugar at 30 minutes, one hour, and two hours to get the best picture of your insulin profile.

If you are a high insulin secretor and your insulin goes over 30 at a half hour, one hour, or two hours, you produce too much insulin and need to be sure you are staying on a low glycemic load, whole-foods, unprocessed diet, which I describe in UltraMetabolism.

The bottom line?

If you want to fit into your jeans, you have to fit into your genes.

Now I?d like to hear from you?

What seems to trigger weight gain for you?

How have different diets worked for you?

Have you ever had you insulin and blood sugar tested?

Please let me know your thoughts by leaving a comment.

More About Weight Loss

Develop Your Life, Not a Portfolio

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 17:22:22 GMT

Known as America's Answer Man, Matthew Lesko is a best-selling author, appears regularly on network television shows, and travels the country appearing on virtually every newscast in the top 100 markets. His stage antics, as well as his sound consumer advice has made him a favorite guest on Larry King Live, Good Morning America, The Oprah Winfrey Show, Jay Leno, Letterman, and The Today Show. The once paper-bound guru of government giveaways has transformed his wealth of knowledge into an interactive, online resource--MyAmericanBenefitsPlan.com.

Matthew Lesko has published over 110 books on free government money programs. He has had two New York Times best-sellers and two national best sellers, Getting Yours and Information USA. In addition, Lesko has twice received the prestigious ?Best Reference Book of the Year? award from the American Library Association and has written syndicated consumer columns for Good Housekeeping, The New York Times and The Chicago Tribune.

Matthew Lesko--

The Magic Is In You

We are all insecure and get trapped into believing that there is some person or program that can magically transform our current situation into a beautiful Hollywood ending. The real magic is within each of us. We are all unique and possess the magic that will only work for us. When you pay money to some guru hoping to learn their magic to make it succeed for you, all you are really learning is what worked for them at some period of time. You are different and times keep changing. So your real work is in developing what is unique about you, developing your magic. That is what is really going to succeed for you. There is no world conspiracy group that is sitting around all day thinking about how they can stop you from being a success. The only thing that is stopping you is you and your imagination. The world is full of opportunities, but it takes some practice to start seeing them.

Develop A Life Not A Portfolio

Whether you are 16 or 60 you should be building a 30-year plan on how you are going to contribute as much as you can to the world. Nowadays both ages are likely to live for 30 more years. Instead of putting your money into other people?s ideas on how they think the world should be, put the money into you so you start building the world the way you think it should be. If the so-called experts can get it right, you got nowhere to go but up from here.

More of Matthew Lesko's Money-Saving Advice:

Invest in Yourself Instead of in Wall Street

What an Average Person Has Learned About The Experts on Wall Street

McCain, Obama Have Different Views On Government Money Programs

Protect Yourself From Unaffordable Insurance Premiums

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 16:38:04 GMT

Marilee Driscoll is a professional speaker and the leading objective authority on all the ways to plan for long-term care. She is the author of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Long-term Care Planning, and the founder of Long-Term Care Planning Month. She has been quoted in hundreds of publications, including AARP magazine, USA Weekend, Kiplinger's Personal Finance and The Wall Street Journal, and has been interviewed on the CBS Early Show. ?What?s your long-term care plan??? This open-ended question is at the heart of Long-Term Care Planning Month, which starts today, October 1. Founded in 2001 by long-term care speaker and author Marilee Driscoll, the event and its affiliated web site and free consumer newsletter offer consumers objective, credible information on all aspects of long-term care planning (visit the site and subscribe to the newsletter at www.LTCmonth.com).

Marilee Driscoll--

How Consumers Can Protect Themselves Against Long-Term Care Insurance Premiums Becoming Unaffordable: Part 2 of 2

Read Part 1

Long-Term Care Planning Month Tip 5 of 21

Tip #1, reported earlier, was to buy long-term care insurance only if it is easily affordable. Tip #2 is consider limited pay policies: once your premium-paying years are over, you are immune to future rate increases.

Tip #3: Choose your long-term care insurance company well. Insurers who plan to sell long-term care insurance for many years in the future are more reluctant to raise premium rates on existing policyholders; rate increases make their agents mad, and gives the media a chance to saw negative things about the company. For example, the two industry leaders, from the point-of-view that they sell the most new policies, are Genworth and John Hancock. Both companies have been selling LTC insurance for decades (Genworth was GE until the spinoff a few years ago), and have a history of reluctance to raise premiums on in-force policies. There are many other very good companies, including, for the first time in several years, some start-ups who are committed to selling LTC insurance.

Tip #4: Buy an individual, not a group, LTC insurance policy ? with one BIG exception. An individual policy is a contract between the insured and the insurance company, and is regulated by the Division of Insurance in the state where the policy was sold. Any rate increases must be approved by that state?s Division of Insurance. If an insurer is selling in 50 states, that means 50 filings, multiple hearings, etc. For this reason, a rate increase can hit policyholders in one state today, and not hit those in a neighboring state for a year or more. States Divisions of Insurance exist to protect the citizen policyholders of their state, and, in many cases, are reluctant to OK large premium increases quickly.

In contrast, when insurance is purchased from a group policy, the contract is between the master policyholder (often an employer) and the insured receives a certificate of coverage, not a contract. Only one Division of Insurance is involved in regulating a group policy ? in the state where the master policy was issued; a premium rate increase impacts all certificate holders in one fell swoop, no matter where they are located.

In general, group contracts offer less safeguards to their certificate holders than do individual contracts to policyholders. One exception is the Federal Long Term Care Insurance Program (www.LTCfeds.com), available to federal employees, members of Congress, and other ?members of the federal family.? It is overseen by the Office of Personnel management, which shops out the contract every few years, and demands that the insurance company(ies) awarded the contract include coverage for unprecedented consumer safeguards such as an easy claims appeal process.

Tip #5: Return of premium is NOT a smart strategy to keep LTC insurance affordable. Some very well-meaning people proponents of return of premium. Here?s how it works: the insured pays a higher premium for this benefit, which provides that, in the future, if premiums are not paid (presumably because they have become unaffordable), the insured retains a smaller policy, which stays in force even though premiums are no longer being paid. Sounds good, but when you sharpen your pencil and run some numbers, I don?t like it. Why add a benefit that makes an already unaffordable-to-many product even more expensive, just in case it becomes impossibly expensive in the future! Not to mention that the smaller policy that would remain in place after premiums are discontinued may be woefully inadequate.

More Long Term Planning Tips from Insurance Guru Marilee Driscoll

Physicians, False Hope and False Hopelessness

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 23:45:49 GMT

David Servan-Schreiber, MD, PhD, is a clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine and cofounder of the Center for Integrative Medicine. He lives in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and Paris, France. He has been a cancer survivor for 16 years, and is the author of the International Best-Seller Anticancer: A New Way of Life (Viking September 2008). Dr. Servan-Schreiber appeared on the Stand Up To Cancer event September 5, 2008, shown across major television networks and raised over $100 million.

David Servan-Schreiber--

We should be careful to avoid false hopes when talking about cancer. But not telling patients what the scientific literature says they can do to help themselves to prevent cancer or treat it better leaves them with false hopelessness!

One of the main concerns of any physician is to not impart false hope to a patient. This is because a genuine, honest, relationship with a patient is the cornerstone of treatment. How can we convince someone who doesn?t feel so ill at the moment to endure the torments of chemotherapy if they don?t have complete trust in us?

For this reason, many physicians are concerned about touting the benefits of life-style changes to their patients when it comes to the prevention or treatment of cancer. Indeed, the benefits of an anticancer diet, of mind-body practices or even of physical exercise have not received the same amount of evidenced-based support from large clinical trials than, say, chemotherapy or radiotherapy.

As a physician myself, I understand and share that concern. However, I'm also concerned about the consequences of not telling people about the scientific evidence showing that they can help themselves to prevent or fight an existing cancer. Though they cannot replace conventional treatments, life style changes act on many of the core mechanisms of cancer progression and can greatly contribute to better outcomes. If we don?t tell our patients this, we leave them with a false hopelessness.

As a physician with cancer, I've discovered that we can all create an anticancer biology for ourselves through the choices we make in our lives. I'm in better health and happier than before I was ever ill. What I've learned in my own journey of 16 years with cancer is that the best way to go on living is not so much to "fight the disease." To the contrary, it's to nourish life at all levels of my being: through my meals three times a day, through my walks in nature, through the meaning and purpose I find in my actions, through the protection of our environment, and through the flow of love in my relationships. Science told me that this slows down cancer, but, perhaps more importantly, it brings to my life, every day, a new vibrancy.

?2008 David Servan-Schreiber, MD, PhD

Moving Beyond Cancer Survival Statistics

Exercise Protects Against Cancer

RSS Consulting Services For Online Business

Fri, 10 Oct 2008 01:13:10 GMT

Autism and The Gluten-and-Dairy-Free Diet

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:29:30 GMT

Tracey Seaman--

We buried Dad on my daughter?s third birthday. (He had taught me how to make eggs when I was five.) My son was just a year and a half and had started to talk. Suddenly, about a month later it was like someone shot out the light and left us all in darkness. I was ?lucky? enough to get a last minute, cancellation-list diagnosis for my son from Isabelle Rapin, a neurologist guru at Albert Einstein Medical Center in the Bronx who only worked on Mondays. P.D.D. (a developmental delay?not otherwise specified) was what she told me, after my boy was observed. The process was painful and so surreal because the change happened quickly and without warning, and Darren did nothing she prompted or requested. Dr. Rapin said we needed an overnight EEG (to make sure he wasn?t having seizures) and referred me to a more local neurologist, who suggested speech therapy and a behavioral program. It didn?t take long for my husband to mentally sail off to the land of denial.

A friend at work said her friend?s sister?s son received a diagnosis like Darren?s. His mom had taken all gluten and dairy out of his diet and he was as good as new in six months. Back then all I could do was promise myself and my child that I would bring him back from wherever he was, if it was the only thing I ever did for the rest of my life. I told my friend I was going to try the suggested therapies first and see what happened.

After about nine months of therapies?forty hours a week is suggested for early intervention (two hours would have been covered by my county but I was wait-listed for one hour, but through the assistance of my family we were able to get at least a total of five hours a week)?there hadn?t been any change. As this time passed, I began to observe that Darren had stomach pain and wondered if it was from milk. I asked our pediatrician to do a food allergy test and he actually told me the insurance company would be mad at him. Naturally he suggested I switch Darren to soymilk. When I found a new doctor, through the help of my friend?s sister?s friend (whom I did call by that time), the test showed that Darren had a slight sensitivity to wheat, dairy and a few legumes but the worst was his sensitivity to soy.

Since I had been a recipe developer for a number of years I wasn?t completely unglued by the news. I had already done some research and found several catalogs, which carried gluten-free mixes, and I bought a gluten-free cookbook. The mixes and cookbook were both disappointing, so I concentrated on trying to devise my own recipes for baked goods that were gluten, dairy and soy free.

By the time Tanya and I were working on our book the number of autistic children had reached 1 in 166, and it is even worse now. (In my state of New Jersey it is 1 in 97.) For that reason and also because we have seen children with asthma improve when dairy was removed we decided to include a chapter on food sensitivities in Real Food for Healthy Kids.

Take A Sneak Peak Inside At HarperCollins

Teach Your Children Well: Embracing Their Inner Spinach Lover

Autism, Green Vaccines, And Jenny McCarthy

Is It Hunger or a Desire to Eat?

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:21:19 GMT

Linda Spangle, RN, MA, is a weight-loss coach specializing in emotional eating, and the author of 100 Days of Weight Loss, a book of daily lessons that helps people stay committed to their diet and exercise plans.

Linda Spangle--

To stop emotional eating, you first have to recognize you?re doing it. Take a look at how often you struggle with food issues. Do you feel out of control around food? Do you wish you had some other ways to manage your challenges?

Pay more attention to the times you eat when you aren?t actually hungry. Analyze your habits such as having a bowl of ice cream every night at bedtime or grabbing a few cookies every time you get off the phone with your mother.

Whenever you start thinking about food, take a minute to figure out whether you?re having a physical need or an emotional one. Before you put the first bite in your mouth, ask yourself?

Is this hunger or a desire to eat?

If you decide you are truly hungry give your body some fuel. But if you?re having a desire to eat, catch yourself on the spot and ask, ?What?s going on here? What?s making me want to eat right now?? Then consider how you could take care of your real needs instead of appeasing them with food.

Question: What helps you recognize whether you?re having physical or emotional hunger?

Is Your Hunger Physical or Emotional?

Take Ownership of Your Diet

In Dieting: Choose When Food Will Be Important

Soup's On: Leeky Chicken Soup

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:13:35 GMT

Seven years ago, author Janice Taylor, permanently removed over 50 pounds of excess weight. She utilized weight loss as a vehicle for reinvention and transformation. Taylor has been featured in O, The Oprah Magazine, New York Times, New York Post, New York Daily News, Family Circle, Good Housekeeping, Los Angeles Times, Chicago Sun Times, Fitness magazine, Health magazine, CNN.com, Religion and Spirituality, has appeared on View from the Bay, San Francisco, Discovery Health, Naomi?s New Morning, Hallmark Channel, FitTV.

She is a Life & Wellness Coach, Certified Hypnotist, Neurolinguistic Practitioner, as well as the author of All Is Forgiven, Move On: Our Lady of Weight Loss?s 101 Fat-burning Steps on Your Journey to Sveltesville (May 2008) and Our Lady of Weight Loss: Miraculous and Motivational Musings from the Patron Saint of Permanent Fat Removal (Fall 2006.) Janice is also the creator of the very popular e-newsletter Kick in the Tush Club, and a syndicated blogger for Beliefnet .

Taylor leads workshops at a number of wellness centers across America, including Omega Institute, Rhinebeck, New York, The Crossings, Austin, Texas and Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health, The Berkshires, Massachusetts.

Taylor is a member of the International Coach Federation, Association for Integrative Psychology, CIVA (Christians In the Visual Arts). She has studied at New York Society of Ericksonian Psychotherapy and Hypnosis, American Pacific University, NLP Center of New York and New York University. She is also a co-founder of artHARLEM, a grassroots Harlem, New York art organization.

Janice Taylor--

A twist on the traditional, I call this "Grandma's New Age Penicillin."

Fun Factoid: Hippocrates, the father of medicine, prescribed the leek as a cure for nosebleeds.

Serves 6

Ingredients:
2 tablespoons olive oil
10 medium leeks, trimmed, sliced, and well-washed (approx. 2 cups)
2 large baking potatoes, grated
2 medium carrots, grated
1 bunch parsley, chopped
8 cups chicken broth or vegetable broth (There are some great brands now that are organic and low-sodium.)
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste

Instructions:

Heat the oil in a 6-quart pot over medium heat.
Add the leeks, potatoes and carrots.
Saut? until softened, 5 to 10 minutes. (If you feel that you need more oil, try adding a bit of water instead.)
Add the parsley, broth, salt, and pepper.
Bring to a boil.
Reduce the heat to low and simmer, covered for about 40 minutes or until tender.

Soup's On:

Chicken and Tofu

California Veggie

Creamy Pumpkin Tofu

Maybe Men Do Have It Made

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 23:09:36 GMT

David Coleman is known nationwide as The Dating Doctor? and ?America?s Real-Life Hitch!? He has been honored eleven times as the National Speaker of the Year - 8 times by Campus Activities Magazine and 3 times by The National Association for Campus Activities. He has just won Speaker Of The Year again in 2008! He is a highly sought after speaker, entertainer, emcee, author, leadership trainer, retreat facilitator, and radio and television personality.
His most recent book, Making Relationships Matter, has entered its second printing run, and his previous works, Date Smart! and 101 Great Dates are well respected and continue to impact lives nationwide. He has been a featured speaker for the Sprint Corporation, Merrill Lynch, The Kroger Co., Federated and Flo-Tork, Inc. as well as civic organizations such as MOPS (Mothers of Pre-Schoolers), Junior Achievement, Circle K International, and Mortar Board. David received a National Service Citation from President George Bush, served as a spokesperson for Microsoft's Streets and Trips 2004 worldwide rollout campaign, was honored as a Distinguished Alumnus by BGSU, and is currently serving as a spokesperson for MSN Online Shopping.

David Coleman--

Dear Dating Doctor:

Over the years, as you have given out advice as a columnist, author and public speaker, have you ever come to a determination of whether men or women have it easier when it comes to relationships or life in general. I know this is a bizarre question but I was inquisitive.--Curiosity Caught This Cat

Dear Curious:

What a purrrfectly interesting question. Over the past few years, I have received thousands of letters from readers, web brousers and seminar participants. Approximately 70% of those letters have come from women who have experienced problems with the men in their lives or the problem of having no men in their lives. Either way, women have openly expressed that they believe it is a man's world and market when it comes to dating and living. Why do they believe this to be so?

A loyal reader and seminar participant, Jennifer Flinchpaugh, put it quite succinctly during one of my most recent local appearances. According to her, men have it made because (Dating Doctor's comments in parenthesis):

They have no menstrual cycle to deal with. (Thank goodness! Can you imagine if men and women experienced simultaneous menstruation? Quick, hide the security codes!)
It is easier for them to lose weight. (Not this body)
It is less expensive to raise boys than girls. (Okay. I'll give you that one.)
They don't have to wear makeup or hair spray. (Usually true, but some men . . .)
Women earn 72 cents for every $1.00 a man earns for the same job. (Can't fight facts.)
They don't have to wear bras, slips, high heels or pantyhose (Ditto # 4).
Men keep their names all of their lives, so they don't have IRS or U.S. Government name-changing headaches. (Some renaissance men are changing theirs or hyphenating.)
They don't have to live through nine months of pregnancy. (True, we don't carry the child. But a woman's hormonal swings make life interesting for us as well.)
They don't have to give birth. (There would be no children on earth if we did.)
They don't have to shave. They can grow a beard, a mustache or just sport a five o'clock shadow. (Not always. And ladies, imagine for a moment having to shave your face everyday. Yes, it is that painful.)
Men seldom fight lines to use the restroom. (That's because we don't all go together.)
Men's clothes are cheaper. (Depends on where you shop)
Men's haircuts are cheaper. (Unless men frequent a salon, which is a great way to meet women)
As they age, men grow more distinguished and mature while women get labeled as old maids. (Yes we do, don't we!)

Gentlemen, if any of you out there think that it is just the opposite, a woman's world or market, I'd sure like to hear from you. Thanks Jennifer for enlightening us men on why we have it made. We will never complain again (not!).

Excessive PDA is Far From OK

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Are You a Slave to Technology?

Tue, 07 Oct 2008 10:59:36 GMT

Arthur Rosenfeld is an authority on the spiritual dimensions of Eastern thinking for a Western world. A novelist, martial arts master and philosopher, Rosenfeld is a contributor to national magazines, including Vogue, Vanity Fair, and Parade, has been seen on Fox News and other networks, and heard on numerous national radio programs. He consults and speaks on the subject of chronic pain for the pharmaceutical industry and others in healthcare. He has written The Truth About Chronic Pain and several novels.

Arthur Rosenfeld--

In the Industrial Revolution, we designed machines to save us effort. Later, we created devices to save us time. The Holy Grail was to have the opportunity to spend more time with our family, to cultivate ourselves, to contribute to the community?in short to do what we wanted to do not what we had to do.

Early innovations saved us from backbreaking, lifespan-shortening work, but lately our inventions have taken an insidious turn. With the exception of a few miraculous medical tools, they now do us as much harm as good. The demands we make on ourselves in the face of our technology create stresses that literally kill us. The silicon chip, and cutting edge manufacturing have set a new pace for life on Earth, a pace better suited to our creations than it is to us. The machines we inhabit, the bodies we are, have vibrations, harmonics, rhythms and limitations that differ from those of our creations, but we often decide in favor of our creations rather than in favor of us. We have, in short, become slaves where once we were masters.

The solution became clearer than ever to me the other night when playing the new video game, Spore, with my 8-year-old son. Brilliantly conceived, Spore explains the process of evolution far better than I can. It involves creating a creature and helping it grow to meet the challenges of increasingly complex environments?to see it evolve from a single?celled organism in a primordial soup to a space traveler colonizing distant planets. The game reveals much about how the forces of nature act on us, and also the pressures we put on ourselves by letting our population run amok. To secure our place in the sun, we are driven to ever more competitive and ruthless behavior, and to use any tool and weapon we can find to survive.

What is a human being to do to find more meaning, less stress, greater fulfillment, and less complexity and speed? I was deep in the game when it hit me. I could decide against playing, bow out, and simply turn it off! What a metaphor for the world outside the personal computer. So obvious, so simple, so doh! but so few of us do it. Bowing out is an option that comes with increasing consciousness. It means to cooperate rather than contend, to use technology with awareness of its benefits and its costs, to emphasize depth, slow down, pay attention, achieve happiness by substituting spiritual goals for material ones. Be a person, not a bug! Let the spore of you fully flower.

More Better Living Tips From Arthur Rosenfeld--

9 Tips For Surviving Tough Times

Turning The Nation Around From The Bottom Up

We All Go Through Cycles of Sickness And Health